5 Reasons Why I hate Soft Play.

Soft play is a necessary evil for me. I absolutely refuse to go after 3pm, at weekends or during the holidays.

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Reasons I hate soft play include, but are not limited to:

1. Other people’s kids.  Last time I was at soft play a child took his trousers and pants off at the top of the slide. I was terrified Tiny was about to climb through a puddle of wee…or worse. Then I had to awkwardly ask if anyone owned the little nudist.

2. Other parents. Not playing with their kids, ignoring their kids, not disciplining their kids. The first time we went to the local soft play a small boy attached himself to me.  He kept taking my hand and calling me mummy. Ack. This really freaked me out because I was trying to chase 14 month old Tiny about and I wasn’t sure how some random parents would feel if they saw another random holding his hand.  Eventually they yelled at him for bothering people again. Poor kid.

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3. The rules. One place asked me to read and learn an A4 sheet of rules before they buzzed me through the gate.  FFS. I can barely remember what day of the week it is nevermind a code of conduct for this squishy heck hole…Socks yes, food no, don’t let your kid be a dick… that’s it right?

4. The awkward telling off etiquette. What, if anything, do you say to the kid that keeps shoving in or being a general jerk to your small human?!

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5. The food.  My local soft play has passive aggressive signs about not bringing in your own food… even if your child has an allergy. I paid £3.75 for an hours “entertainment” do I really have to fork out for food that will probably be discarded half eaten (at best)? Or that I’ll be forced to eat because i feel bad about the waste. Also grated cheese sandwiches…who thinks that’s a good idea for kids!? The hot chocolate is amazeballs though.

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